An Intruder
Do not disturb, but stay anyway
I don’t remember inviting you in, but somehow you’re everywhere now. You exist too loudly in my mind for someone who probably doesn’t realize how much space you take up. I catch myself thinking about you at the most random times, and I have to laugh because—seriously?
Some days I wake up already missing you, and that’s the confusing part. Nothing is actually wrong. Nothing is broken. And yet there’s this quiet feeling that my body expected you to be closer. Like I reached for something familiar without thinking, and only noticed once it wasn’t there. I hate that it makes me smile. I hate that I don’t hate it.
I like you. It’s inconvenient. slightly embarrassing. In a way that makes me pause and think, oh—so this is happening. I like how different we are. I like how you annoy me and somehow still make my day better. You’re irritating. Please don’t go anywhere. Stay where I can see you. Stay long enough for me to pretend I don’t care.
You think you’re funny, which is rude, because you actually are. You think you’re cool, which is worse, because you don’t even try. I love your smile. I love it when I’m the reason it shows up. It does something to me that I pretend not to notice, even though I always do. I notice everything. Especially you.
I want you in the boring parts of my day. The random thoughts. The pointless updates. The moments that feel too small to mention until they suddenly aren’t. I want to be someone you think of without effort. Someone who slips into your day naturally, the way your habits do
I reply fast because I want to. If it’s you and my phone is already in my hand, why wouldn’t I? I don’t believe in pretending not to care when I clearly do. And yes, I like you. I know that already, even if I keep acting like I don’t.
I also know this probably doesn’t go anywhere neat. Maybe I won’t be yours. Maybe you won’t be mine. Maybe this never turns into something with clear lines and easy endings. But right now, this exists. This feeling exists. And it’s such a beautiful feeling.