Dreams and Choice

Ask yourself the necessary question when making decisions

Take a dose of me to relax😌😌!!

I frequently receive strange looks and questions like "Are you okay?" when I state that I want to get married between the ages of 18 and 20. More comments along the lines of "You want to get married before you graduate?" and "You'll just put yourself through unnecessary stress." etc

They start to make it seem like I don’t know what I’m saying and I’m saying it out of immaturity and fantasies, and I know you have almost the same thoughts right now. Every time I hear those comments, billions of views begin to flash through my head. It got to the point where I started doubting myself and I didn’t know what to do. 

One day, I had physics class, and it was our last physics class that session. The revision topic for that day was “Friction and Viscosity." The teacher (Let’s call him Mr. J) asked a question on how to reduce viscosity in oil, and my dumb ass replied, “Pour water into the oil” (I wasn't thinking when I said that at all). Mr. J's reaction after my reply

One thing led to another, and we started talking about cooking. He asked another question about how to reheat rice that had been stored in the refrigerator (Trust me now, I answered nonsense as usual). Mr. J after my second wrong reply to questions related to cooking.

We began making jokes about how I don't know how to cook and how this character flaw will cause my husband to cheat (this is a long story that will be told another day; subscribe and maybe you'll get to read it). I replied that we would get to know about that in the next 4-6 years and, omo, you need to hear the screams from my classmates. The first question from them was, “Do you mean at the age of 18?" I replied, “Yes, any problem with that?”

And people, this is where our story begins. I’m coming. Let me go and eat first so I’ll have strength. Yoruba people used to say 

“Okun inu la fin gbe ti ta”

This means it's the inner energy we will use to carry the outer one, so I have to follow my people (if you’re thinking of how it relates, think outside the box, you’ll understand). I'll be right back.

So where were we? Let’s continue. My classmates were shocked, and I received the expected response, judgment, and stupid remarks without them even understanding my justifications or the decisions I made. The most painful part is that people hardly try to understand my reasons, even after trying to explain. I was about to let the matter die like I always do when I don’t have time to explain or I just don’t have the strength when I heard Mr.J ask, “Why?”. I was very happy to hear the question, as I love stating the reasons I decided to somebody willing to listen and be open-minded. I got up from my seat and activated my explaining power.

I was a little taken aback by the question because I had never expected it and had never given "Why" much thought, but I responded as if I had already prepared the response, and it came across well.

I said, “I would love to get married at 18, so my life would be easier." I have three things to achieve before I turn 35, and to achieve that, I have to start early. The first thing on the list is to enjoy my 40s with my husband without having children to look after. 

From here, I already knew what my "why" was. Now, it is very easy to answer any question that comes afterward. One of my classmates asked if I knew that I would still be in school by then. I replied, “Yes, I would still be in school." He asked again, “And if you get pregnant?"  My seat partner said, "She’ll be trekking to school while heavily pregnant." It will shock her. " (Just so you know, Chidera, you’re very stup*d for that statement.) I told him, “That's why I won't marry you or someone as broke as you in the future.”

Well, they asked more questions about the pros and cons, and I answered well, even though some of them weren't convinced and went with the line “It's your life, live it how you want.”  

Ever since Mr. J asked me this question, it has been easy to explain to people why I made this decision. What I realized from that day was that the questions asked made me clear about what I wanted. Since then, whenever I make a decision, I ask myself,

1. "Why?" ” Why are you taking this decision?”

2. “How?” “How are you planning to achieve this?"

3. “Is it a good decision?" “Have you weighed the pros and cons?”

The ability to make decisions has improved. Why do I share this with you? I guess I'd like you to learn something from each of these. Make it simple for yourself to make decisions. When making decisions, be sure to ask the right questions of yourself, then observe how simple those decisions become. Take into account the opinions of others and remove the ones you don't want. That's the little gift from me to you today. 

I hope you enjoyed today’s dose of Ikram, and I really hope it relieved your stress and helped you relax. If it did, share it with your family, friends, and even enemies. Stay safe, till we meet again. Odaabo 👋👋