Fighting the demons within

I'm well-acquainted with demons in me.

Failing hurts. It can be one of the most painful experiences, especially when it happens for the first time. The emotional impact of failure is profound, leaving one feeling deeply wounded. However, what hurts more than the act of failing itself is the response it elicits from yourself and others. The look of disappointment, the breaking voice filled with hurt, and the silent, unspoken words conveyed through their behaviours can be even more devastating.

The internal struggle that follows failure is equally painful. Silent voices within begin to echo, telling you that you are a failure and a disappointment to your family. These voices grow louder with each passing second, weighing down your heart and making your head feel lighter. In those moments, the overwhelming desire is for everything to stop, to be freed from the shackles that prevent you from picking yourself up and starting again.

As weeks go by, life appears to return to normal. However, there remains a broken switch within that keeps the critical voices alive. You become familiar with the monsters in your head, constantly reminding you of your perceived failure and disappointment. These voices walk alongside you, refusing to let you move on. They sneak into your thoughts every time you attempt to rise and move forward, dragging you back with such force that you slip and fall once more. The cycle of failure continues, as these internal demons cling to their existence.

At this point, it is no longer just about picking yourself up again. The real challenge becomes fighting the greatest enemy within—those internal voices that undermine your efforts. Yet, the question remains: how do you confront and defeat this inner adversary? I don’t know too. The common advice is always to pick yourself up after a fall, but rarely do we hear about the battle against the internal demons that persist after failure.

Confronting and overcoming these internal voices is a crucial part of the journey to recovery. It requires a deep understanding of oneself and a relentless determination to silence negative self-talk. This battle is difficult, and the path to victory is often unclear. However, recognizing the existence of these inner demons is the first step toward defeating them. Only then can you truly begin to rebuild, free from the chains of self-doubt and disappointment.

Author’s note: Hi y’all, sorry for disappearing into thin air. I’ve been busy with exams and school. Thanks to everyone who checked up on me! I really appreciate you.