Jealousy is a part of life
Of course I've been jealous, who never jealous, hands in the air. No hands?
Lying in my bed barefoot, one leg on the bed frame, the other folded at a 90-degree angle, I scrolled through Twitter with my phone raised in one hand while the other fed my mouth as I munched. I stumbled upon a post where a lady expressed her jealousy towards her friend in a beautiful relationship. She couldn't seem to get into any successful relationship herself, and while everything was going smoothly for her friend, it was a rollercoaster for her. In the comment section, suddenly everyone was the most righteous person and had never felt jealous towards a friend for doing better while they struggled. Everyone claimed to be content with their position and never wished to be in a close friend's position.
I had scrolled past the post already, but I felt too bugged to continue. I had to sit up straight, my back against the wall, phone on my lap, tapping on it anxiously while still feeding my munching mouth. Am I really a bad person, or is everyone just pretending because we're online? I have felt jealous of a particular friend of mine often and frequently. She was better than me in every way I imagined: prettier, taller, smarter, and more mature than I was. I started to do things and wonder if she would do them and perhaps it was because she didn't do them that way that she wasn't smarter. Whenever she came into my zone or something, it felt like she took over and everyone forgot I was there (well, in reality, it isn’t really like that... I just tend to withdraw because I feel smaller). I did everything to be better than her in ways I could, especially academically. Even if I was in the top 3, if I was behind her, I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything. I was jealous of her because she was still better no matter the effort I put in. So anytime I did better than her in something, I suddenly felt better about myself.
Then one day, we were having a conversation, and from the deep conversation, it felt like she was jealous of me. She wished she was like me, and here I was, wishing I was her. I looked back at myself that day and realized I had been so jealous that I forgot we both had our strengths. I was better than her in some things, and she was better in others. It didn’t mean we were smaller than each other in any instance. I just wanted to feel better about myself, and it was reflected in being better than her. I rethought it and looked at it. I accepted that she was prettier and sometimes could be smarter in some situations, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t smart or any less smart. My intelligence applied in situations where hers couldn't and vice versa. I went online and did my research on jealousy.
Sincerely, jealousy is a natural feeling. Situations will come where you wish you were like someone or wish you were in their shoes, but it doesn’t mean you are not good at all. It is like humans to want to be like someone or better. Jealousy is a feeling of happiness, sadness, or tiredness. It doesn’t make you a bad person as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to be a bad person. It doesn’t make you evil or bad. It makes you human, so it’s very natural. If you feel jealous, pray against it becoming a bad feeling and go on with your day. It will be okay in the end.